overlypolitebisexual:

cat people: dogs are cool too
dog people: cats don’t feel love did you know a cat once MURDERED my MOTHER


caseyanthonyofficial:

Today I was at Olive Garden with my girlfriend and the waitress asked if we wanted more breadsticks and my girlfriend said no

???????????



thetoolazytothinkupacoolnameblog:

becuzbacon:

Tell it, Randy.

Randy said fuck your bullshit


tastefullyoffensive:

[@themichaelrock]


vernondaviscrying:

IM SCREAMING SO LOUD




Anonymous:
Can I just say you're like Jesus

misscokebottleglasses:

Well I’m still working on turning water into wine, which I think is a very important skill, but I’m getting there.


"We should get out of here before David decides to give you his overprotective dad speech.”